What Does the Magic 8 Ball Say?

I’m pretty sure that 99% of my day as a mother involves answering questions. There are the incessant, minor questions like “can I have a snack?” and “where are my shoes?” And then there are the scarier ones; “what happens when we die?” or, the worst, “where do babies come from?” Typically, I try to answer my kids’ questions promptly, honestly and tactfully, but there are some days that I just don’t want to answer any more questions.

Sometimes I don’t want to have to think of an answer. I’m tired. I don’t know why the thing we sit on is called a couch. I don’t know why Dora’s head is so big. I don’t know why you don’t like pickles, or where your favorite underwear are, or why Doritos are triangle shaped. I DON’T KNOW!! Continue reading

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My Kids Won’t Do This in College

Of all the difficult parts of parenthood, the one that is hardest for me is the constant worrying. I can handle untimely stomach flu disasters, unending piles of laundry, homework help, and the constant chaos; but I have a hard time with keeping my anxiety at bay when it comes to my kids.

What do I worry about you ask? What don’t I worry about is the better question. Are they healthy? Are they happy? Are they learning? Are they growing? Do they have friends? Are they being good friends? Are they safe?  Am I doing the right thing when it comes to x,y,z?

I’m sure I’m not alone in my constant state of worry. It is a natural instinct for mothers to care for and want to protect their young, amirite?

With time and experience I have learned that there are some things that I do not need to worry about. It’s like the Luvs commercial says, “Live and learn, then get Luvs” although my quote would be “live and learn, then quit worrying about stupid shit”.

Still, even with this inspirational quote running in my head, sometimes I start worrying about different phases or behaviors that my kids are doing at the moment. I try to catch myself and remember that “this too shall pass.” My life mantra as of late has been “this will not be an issue when he is in college.”

This Will Not Be an Issue When He Is In College. I have to repeat it often.

Here are a few examples:

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Lowering my Expectations

From the moment I found out I was pregnant with my first child, I had an idea in my head of what kind of mother I would be. I was fairly certain I would be a pretty amazing one. Now, 12 years and 3 children later, I have discovered that my self-imposed expectations may have been set a bit high. Here are but just a few examples:

Before Kids: “My house will be clean at all times so that my children have a safe, healthy, and clutter-free environment in which to live.”

Now: I try hard to keep my house clean, but those damn kids just mess it up again. I have decided that I can spend my time dusting furniture and washing windows, or I can spend my time playing games of “Epic Four Square” in the driveway making memories with the kids. Memories of me beating their tushies at “Epic Four Square”. (For those who are wondering, “Epic Four Square” is a very competitive, very cut-throat, four square game that the kids and I made up. The rules keep evolving over time, there may or may not be blood involved at any given point, and, for the record, I am currently the reigning champion). So, no, my house isn’t spotless. Not even close. I spend my time playing with my kids. And also playing Words with Friends.

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