Vasovagal is not a feminine itch product

This post originally ran on

I’m a passer-outer. I don’t exactly know if that’s a word, but I pass out. Frequently. I have what is called a “vasovagal response”. While this sounds like some sort of gelatinous ointment one would put on one’s lady nether-regions, it is, in fact, just a medical term used to describe fainting in response to a trigger. For some people the trigger could be seeing blood, or having a fright, or even getting good news. For me the trigger is much less cute and dainty. My trigger is having diarrhea or vomiting. Yep, that’s right. So, as if having explosive diarrhea and/ or puking my guts out isn’t terrible enough, there is the chance that I may also black out, lose control of whatever bodily fluids I have left and fall on the floor. This is most likely to occur in a bathroom where I’ve either been sitting on the pot or leaning over it, so I end up laying on a bathroom floor. It is bad enough when I am at home where I live with three males with bad aim; but it is absolutely horrifying when I am in someone else’s bathroom, especially a public one.

While falling down on gross bathroom floors is pretty awful, it does make for some pretty funny after-the-fact stories. The most memorable for me (and all involved) occurred on February 14, 2001. It was the first Valentine’s Day my husband and I spent as a married couple. 

Read the rest here


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