Last night I was laying with my four year old at bedtime. We had finished reading a book and were having “snuggle time”, which is basically a time when I lay with him in the dark for a few minutes and try my hardest not to fall asleep. I currently have a 50% success rate.
As I was laying with him and hearing all about how he was afraid of the cute little monsters on his bedding (not the best purchase I’ve ever made), my stomach started to rumble a little bit. I had been feeling a bit nauseous throughout the day and I wondered if I had eaten something bad or if I was coming down with a bug. I ignored it for awhile, but then I had to pass gas.
Three seconds later the most God awful stench assaulted my nostrils. Literally the worst smell I have ever smelled. Like a cross between rotten food and decaying flesh. Little Man sat straight up in bed and said “What in the world is THAT?!?”
I said, “I tooted, excuse me.”
He covered his nose and cried “It smells like CHICKEN! Like rotten chicken! And blood! Are you going to die? I need a tissue, my eyes are running! Are you dying?!?”
He tried to climb out of his bed, apparently to get a tissue for his watery eyes, and then yelled “It’s worse down here! I can’t breathe!”
The malodorous aroma finally passed and he was able to calm down enough to lay back down.
“I don’t think I want to snuggle anymore. You can go now”.
And so, for the first time ever, he kicked me out of his room. That stinks.