I go to the gym on Tuesday and Thursday mornings when Little Man is at preschool. I like to take classes at the gym because I exercise better when someone is telling me what to do. When left to my own devices, I lose interest quickly and don’t push myself to get a good workout.
Unfortunately, they switched my Thursday morning kickboxing class to a yoga class and I detest yoga. I know, I know all you yoga fans, yoga is amazing blah blah blah, I just don’t like it. You have as much chance of changing my mind about why I should like yoga as I do getting my kids to keep their rooms clean, so save your breath.
This morning I decided to do the elliptical machine and watch Breaking Bad on my phone, but my earbuds broke. So now I’m doing the elliptical and typing this post, which I am certain is negatively impacting my workout, but I’ve got to pass the time somehow.
These are the thoughts running through my head:
- God this is boring! I have to be about done? Holy shit it’s only been three minutes?!?!
- Why are those two guys looking at me? 15 years ago I would’ve thought they were checking me out, now I’m pretty sure I have something gross hanging out of my nose.
- Is that man asleep? I hope he’s not dead. Oh no, he’s moving. Good.
- Am I done yet? I’ve only gone ten minutes?!? Ugh.
- What should I make for dinner? Husband’s going to be gone. Maybe I should let the kids play “Iron Chef” and make me dinner for once. But then I’d have to clean up the mess. Not worth it. Cereal it is.
- I have to go to the bathroom. Should I take my stuff with me? Nah, if someone wants to steal a sweaty towel and a water bottle they have bigger issues than me.
- What?!? My machine started over?? I was only gone 10 seconds! How long have I gone on this? I’m pretty sure it was close to 45 minutes. Okay, fine….25. 20 more to go.
- I’m bored.
- I hate sweating.
- I hate whining.
- I don’t know how people work out in long pants and longsleeves. I’m pretty sure I would die.
- 15 more minutes!
- I can do it!
- I don’t think I can do it. Sooooooo boring.
- I really need new headphones.
- Maybe I should have done yoga. I think there’s only two people in there. Everyone else must hate yoga too.
- I have to be almost done. 14 1/2 more minutes.
- I wonder how mom and dad are doing in Florida today? Lord I wish I was in Florida right now.
- 11 more minutes. Maybe I could stop right now and do push-ups. Yeah that’s a good idea! Oh, but wait. I hate push ups more than I hate this stupid thing.
- 5 minutes!
- I have sweat in my eye.
- Thank God.
And that, my friends, is why I need someone else to listen to when I exercise. The voice in my head is a whiner.