In the wee hours of the morning my bedroom turned into Grand Central Station. I believe one of my children wet the bed. Or maybe it was two, I lost track in the chaos. All I know is that one wet bed equals at least two loads of laundry.
Mr. Wizard burst into the room at one point, turned on the overhead light, and proclaimed “it’s like trying to find a needle in a haystack!” I asked what he was looking for.
“My underwear! I think.” Well if you don’t know buddy, I certainly can’t help you find it. And I’m a little concerned that you lost your underwear.
Little Man woke up crying twice because he kept snoring himself awake with his yucky, stuffy nose. Apparently the only cure for stuffed up noses when you are 23 months old is Scooby Doo fruit snacks. And the only way to ask for the aforementioned fruit snacks at 3:00 am is by pointing until your mom walks you to the pantry and then giggling maniacally when she says “you want fruit snacks?”
Sassafrass came in once or twice just to make sure she didn’t miss out on all the action. The girl’s not one to miss a party.
At one point in the night, Mr. Wizard and I were passing each other in the hall. Me, on the way to put in another load of laundry, him… I have no idea…, maybe to check his email or make a sandwich?? Lord knows what he was doing wandering around in the hallway at the crack of 3:45. Anyway, as we passed each other in the hall, Mr. Wizard was fumbling along with his eyes half closed and he turned and socked me right in the gut!
“What in the world are you doing?”
He mumbled something about getting the zombies. Apparently, me in my plaid flannel pajama pants and crazy, wild bed head resembled some sort of scary monster. Not so much of a stretch, actually.
Finally, at about 5:55, the children were nestled all snug in their beds. And five minutes later my annoyingly loud alarm went off to cruelly wake me up for another day.
The fun-filled festivities brought to mind a cherished Christmas carol. What is commonly known as “Deck the Halls”, I have renamed “Decked in the Hall” and the lyrics are as follows:
Decked in the hall cuz my son thought I was a zombie… fa la la la la, la la la la
Nope, not a monster, just a stressed out mommy…. fa la la la la, la la la la
Laundry’s piling to the ceiling….. fa la la, la la la, la la la
Need a drink? I know the feeling… fa la la la la, la la la la
Haven’t had a full night of sleep in 8 years… fa la la la la, la la la la
Spend all my time cleaning up pee, poop, and tears….. fa la la la la, la la la la
Whose idea was the bunk beds? fa la la, la la la, la la la
How many times can I hit my freaking head? fa la la la la, la la la la
Be listening for this rendition on STAR 104.5, your Christmas station!