With three children under the age of nine in my house, my days are filled with conversations that revolve around poop, Legos, brown bears and red birds and the things that they see, Elmo, and baths.  The words I use most often are “No”, “get down”, “pick that up please”, “talk nice”, and “because I said so”.

I’ve determined that my vocabulary could use a boost and I’ve decided to try and incorporate some new words into it.  Here is a list of my top picks:

1. Crack-a-lackin.  Anyone with small children who are obsessed with any Disney/ Pixar/ Dreamworks movie out there will instantly picture a zebra named Marty with Chris Rock’s voice when they hear this.  I’m not exaclty sure why I like this “word” so much other than it’s just fun to say.  And I like zebras.  And lemurs.  And I like to move it move it.  And when I drag my aging bod out of bed in the morning, my bones dey be a-crack-a-lackin.

2. Definitively.  I like this word because I think it sounds important, and I like the way it looks with all the straight lines in it.  I didn’t realize until very recently that not all people automatically visualize a word in their minds when they think about it.  Since I do, I assumed everyone did, but it turns out that’s not the case.  When I say the word “definitively” to myself I see a forest of tall, skinny trees with a couple of round bush “e’s” thrown in there for good measure.  I also enjoy this word because it sounds like a mistake.  Like I’m trying to say definitely and put a little stutter in it.  It is defininitively one of my favorite words.

3.  Excrement.  I like it better than the word ‘poop’ and I’m going to teach it to my children straight away.

Which leads me to my #4:

4. Anything with an accent.  I love accents because, as a Midwesterner, I am sadly lacking one.  I would love to talk with a British accent and say things like “Love, could you please be a dear and get the groceries out of the boot straight away?”  Wouldn’t I sound sophisticated and fahncy?

Or I can use a southern accent (which I pretty much do all the time anyway because I love to quote me some Honey Boo Boo).  “Mama!  Glitzy’s eatin my pay-ants!”  I would say, “Sugar, go on and fetch yer mama a Bud Light now.  That’s a good little may-an”.  My kids roll their eyes at me when I start using what they say is a terrible southern accent but I think is pretty darn spot on.

Maybe I should add some flava to my vocabulary and go back to my North Omaha roots.  “Boy!  Why you be smackin on your sister?  You knock that off now, ya hear?  Mmm-hmmmm, that’s right.  Go on now and get your mama a Bud Light.  Holla!

Or I could head even farther north and channel some of our Canadian brethren.  “Oooohh, come nowwww. What are you talking aboot?  I never said we could have Cheeetooooohs for supper.

I definitively am going to start using the words “excrement” and “crack-a-lackin” and I’m going to use some sort of accent whenever I can.  Why, you ask?

Well, poop, because I said so!


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