Say Cheese!

The school where I work is in another state, in a tiny little town, and is a 50 minute commute for me.  There are positives to living so far from work.  The main one is that I run a very small risk of running into anyone from school while doing errands.  This comes in handy when I am shopping at my local Walmart while wearing black yoga pants, a navy blue t-shirt, no make-up, crazy messy hair and pushing the cart with the squeakiest wheel, carrying a case of Bud Light, and pulling along the screamiest toddler who is covered in slobbery goldfish and missing one shoe.  Definitely not a time I want to run into a coworker or a student from my school! Continue reading

What Not to Expect When You’re Expecting

I read an article today in the paper about Heidi Murkoff, the author of the “What to Expect When You’re Expecting” empire, and how she is about to become a grandma. After doing a little research, I learned that 93% of pregnant women have read one of her books. I also learned that she was pregnant with her first of two children when she published her first book and had a background in publishing, not in the medical field. And then I thought, Hey, if she can write a book about birthing babies, without any experience even birthing a baby, I who have birthed 3 babies certainly have some words of wisdom to share.

So, without any further ado, here they are. I call this “What NOT to Expect When You’re Expecting”

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Not THOSE kinds of nuts!

This evening I was cleaning up in the kitchen when I heard Mr. Wizard, my 8 year old start screaming “MOM!  Little Man has my nut cup!  In his MOUTH!”  From the panic in his voice I knew right away that this was somehow a bad turn of events that deserved my immediate attention.  So, after I finished loading the dishwasher, drying my hands, and playing the word “evoke” in Words with Friends, I made my way into the living room.  All the while I’m wondering why my son has a cup with nuts in them, what kind of nuts they are, where he got it, etc.  The only time we have peanuts in our house is if they are inside some colorful candy coating with the letter “m” printed on them.

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Relishing the Charms

I came across this quote today on Facebook:

“You will never have this day with your children again, tomorrow they’ll be a little older than they were today.  This day is a gift, breathe and notice, smell and touch them; study their faces and little feet and pay attention.  Relish the charms of the present.  Enjoy today, mama.  It will be over before you know it” – Jen Hatmaker

Now, I understand that this is supposed to be inspiring and motivate me to enjoy and appreciate each moment with my children, but what it really does is cause me extreme anxiety and incite a bit of a panic attack.  Continue reading

3rd Grade Politics

Tomorrow my 8 year old son (I call him Mr. Wizard because he’s way smarter than I am) is running for student council representative of his 3rd grade class.  There are about 10 students running, and 2 representatives will be elected by their classmates’ voting.  Mr. Wizard did not even hesitate when he learned of this opportunity, because he said “this is the logical first step toward reaching my dream of becoming president of the United States”.  Yes, I guess it is.  He made a poster to display in the classroom and wrote a one minute speech that he will deliver tomorrow to his class.  He wrote his speech himself (with a tiny bit of editing help from mom) and it is so cute: Continue reading