My experience on the 3-day monkey diet

Since my 3rd baby was born 20 months ago, I have been struggling to try to lose the last 10 pregnancy lbs.  I say I’ve been struggling, but the struggle mostly happened in my head, since I would think and talk about wanting to lose the 10 lbs, but not really trying that hard to do it.

I came across this crazy pin on Pinterest for a 3 day diet, which, if followed correctly, is alleged to help you lose up to 10 pounds!  Sounds too good to be true, right?  I, of course, was curious so I looked at the “menu”.  What I noticed about this diet was that it was actually food that I would eat.  And it included ice cream!  Sold!  I thought I would give it a try, what did I have to lose?  Oh yeah…… 10 pounds!  The following is a summary of my experience and my results: Continue reading

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I blame it on the plunges!

This morning I woke up to “WAKE UP!  I OVERSLEPT!!!”  I wondered why Big Bird was yelling at me but then I realized that I must have been dreaming about Big Bird (weird) and that it was actually my husband yelling (and actually sounding a little like Big Bird).  So we quick jumped out of bed, threw clothes that most likely don’t match on the two oldest kids, I managed to put some kind of messy ponytail in my daughter’s hair, slapped their shoes on, and got them in the car so my husband could take them to school.  They didn’t brush their teeth.  Again.  Luckily they eat breakfast at school so at least I know they got fed!  Sadly, this morning was not all that different from most mornings, even those on which we don’t oversleep. Continue reading

I know, right?

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Things that annoy me:

1. When people say “I know, right?”  What does that even mean? I suppose that it is an attempt to show agreement with a statement that has been made.  Is the ‘right?’ supposed to negate the fact that you just said “I know”, which makes you seem like either a know-it-all, or a four year old child?   Are you asking me if it is correct that you know? “It is a nice day outside.” “I know, right?” Umm…yes….. I think you know it is nice out…

Maybe my irritation with this phrase has to do with the fact that it also annoys the shit out of me when people end sentences with a question.  “So, I was going to work today?  And this car pulled out in front of me? And I almost hit it?”  Okay.  Are you asking me or telling me???

If you want to agree with what I’m saying and you really feel the need to say “right”, maybe just say “Right.”  Not a question, but a statement.  Then I will understand the meaning of what you are saying and you won’t sound like a Paris Hilton wanna-be.  Because, in my humble opinion, no matter how intelligent you are, saying “I know, right?” makes you sound less intelligent than I’m sure you are.  Unless you’re really not very intelligent, and Lord knows there are all kinds of people that make this crazy world go round.  Right??

2.  When cupboards and drawers are left open.  I can’t even tell you how often this happens in our house.  I feel like I live in the house with that kid who sees dead people.  Can’t think of the name of it right now.  Every time I turn around another cabinet door is wide open.  I think either we have ghosts in our house too, or my family is secretly plotting to kill me by making me smack my head against the damn cupboard doors on a regular basis.

3.  When couple share a Facebook page.  BillandSue Jones.  What the heck kind of name is BillandSue?  Get your own damn pages Bill and Sue!  They’re free!!

4.  When people make lists of things that annoy them.

You Better RedNeckognize….

According to a quote I saw on Facebook (so, obviously, it’s true), Aristotle said “We are what we repeatedly do”.

Crap….

If that’s true it means I am a Pinterest surfing, complaining, Toddlers and Tiaras watching, Words with Friends playing, junk food eating, oversleeping, obsessing, nagging whiner.

Don’t think I’ll be listing that self description on any future resumes.

Speaking of Toddlers and Tiaras….. I have also been watching (and yes, even dvr recording) TLCs latest educational and inspirational masterpiece…. Here Comes Honey Boo Boo.  If you are not familiar with this edifying example of American culture, the basic premise of the show is the daily life of 6 year old Alana, aka Honey Boo Boo, her mother, Momma, (who bears a striking resemblance to Jabba the Hut), her father, Sugar Daddy, her three older sisters, one of whom is pregnant at the age of 17, and her pet pig.  Alana is on the pageant circuit and was previously featured on Toddlers and Tiaras. The family lives somewhere in the South and they proudly embrace their “redneck” lifestyle. Continue reading

Bad Parenting Moments

This morning on my drive to work I was listening to the radio DJs talking about “bad parenting moments”.  I had a hard time relating because I, personally, have never had a bad parenting moment.  I have maintained my calm and composure during every encounter with my children.  I have limited their television viewing time to no more than 20 minutes per day.  I have ensured that they develop proper eating habits and have cultivated a love for leafy vegetables.  And I have enforced tooth-brushing and flossing after every meal. Continue reading